On Wed. of last week, I had 2 falls on the same day. One was my fault. she refused a 2'3 oxer jump and I went over her head. Not a big deal, so I thought. I got back on her but I was sore so I wanted to trot for a few miintutes and then try again. Well I got about 10 feet and she decidsed to bolt to the fence. She did a little hop and my left foot came out of the iron. As I was trying to get my foot back in, she came up to the fence and did a sliding stop. I went right off and landed on the fence rail on my right side. I was down for a few minutes. i got up and tried to get back on but it hurt, so I limped up to the barn. Went to the hospital to find out that I had 3 bruised ribs, bruised collar bone, pinched nerve in my back, bruised  side,bruised bottom and bruised ego.  I was starting to feel a little bit better, so I tried riding on Mon. It hurt my back so I couldn't do any faster than a walk, my horses trot is very bouncy. I rode for about a half hour. Then I tried riding again today. I was able to w/t/c but when I was about to go over a small cross-rail, I got scared and pulled away. I got back to the barn and i was in tears. I couldn't bring myself to do a simple cross-rail. I don't want to teach her to refuse, so how can I buid up my confidence again? She loves to jump and I don't want to depress her. Any one have any ideas that can help? Right now, I pretty strapped for cash, so going to an instructor is, unfortunately, out of the pic. for now. Thanks in advance.

First off, sending you tonnes of hugs. A fall can be a confidence killer, add injury and you have a physical reminder as well as emotional hurdle when you get back on.

I can only tell you how I rebuild my confidence. Baby steps. I start with groundwork, both for the horse and me. Take everything back to the basics and go on from there.

Don't put a tonne of pressure on yourself. Sure your horse loves to jump - but YOU should love to jump too!! You're not punishing her or depriving her of anything. Sometimes it's good to just get back down to it and go over everything.

Once you've got your confidence up again, start small. Cavaletti, small cross rails.. but one at a time.

Don't worry! You'll be fine!

I completely understand where you are coming from. In august 2007 I broke my arm very badly. I "learned how to fly" pretty much when my old tb , god rest his soul, decided half way over the jump that he didn't want to jump anymore. well i was in flight motion and i went over the jump. i had my left arm out and broke it. now i have 14 screws and 2 plates in my left arm. i was very anxiouse to get back on my horse. but 2 months had to pass before i gpt the ok. anyways this is just so you know i understand.

I was very scared and worried when i got back on. It took me a great deal, i rode my tb a couple of time, to make sure we were going to be ok. but then i turned to my other horse nick, my qh 14yrs. now he is very quiet and sweet, compared to my 25yr old tb who thinks he is 3yrs old and hyper. anyways i got on nick and we worked on everything, slowly we started jumping, over the smallest cavaletties maybe a foot of the ground. then we put them up to 2 feet. he'd stumple over them or stumple in the canter and if i moved or fell onto his neck i freaked. i was so worries that i was going to fall and hurt myself that badly again. but nick just took it and he continued. now these days we're doing 2'3 up to 2'9 in full canter. but all it cost me to do was a fall off him when he spooked at a peacock and he went right and i went left. i did fall on my left side, but i made myself stiff. got up and got back on him and all of a sudden my conidence was back. i did get a bit cocky after, but for me it was a fall i needed to show me it's not going to hurt this badly.

My suggestion to you, if you're worried about the jump, take it down make small and work your way up. there is no shame in starting with a pole on the ground, or a foot off the ground. that way you can work your confidence up and sooner than later you will be jumping back to normal and you horse won't refuse jumps, since you won't pull her away from it.

I hope this helps, keep me updated on how its going! good luck!

 Aussielady- Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I really appreciate it. 

mtegge- Thank you for your kind words to. I am sorry to hear about your fall. I am glad you're back and doing well. I wish I had a more settled horse to regain my confidence again. Unfortunately, all I have is one 10 yr old who thinks she is 3 and very hyper. I had the vet check her to see if there was anything wrong with her. All he said was she was in her transitional phase of going in season. She's just being a mare. If she doesn't calm down, he'll give her some meds to stop her from going into season. My husband said we should probably get it. I said "not a $500 a bottle. He said "it's cheaper than going to the emergency room. LOL" I agree but I don't know if I should do it. We'll just have to see what happens. I am going to try to work her in a smaller ring. She likes to bolt after a jump and I don;t know if I'm ready to handle that yet.

Thanks again. 

I agree with the other two posters. You are doing just fine. It's only been a couple of days, remember, and what you're feeling is totally normal. Give yourself some time. You could do some ground work with her to get her more obedient. Maybe you could lunge her over some jumps. You don't even have to get back on her at all until you have a real "want to." Then, it would be good for her schooling as well as yours to do things like trotting jumps, maybe cantering over ground poles, whatever seems basic and easy to you. 

 I had a bad fall several years ago after a long "bolt" by a green horse I was riding (and shouldn't have been). It was very traumatic and I had flashbacks for months. Every time I had one, I would correct the picture in my mind. I would imagine myself doing the right thing - relaxing instead of tensing, sitting up instead of crouching, giving and taking with the reins instead of freezing - and imagine the horse responding, slowing down gradually, so it ended with a controlled walk instead of me falling off. After a while the flashbacks went away and I felt safer. Not that I never fell off again! But it helped me get to the point where I could at least start working on being a better rider.

I'm not sure how I feel about medicating your horse. It's tempting for right now, and of course your husband is right about the cost ratio , but then what about next time she comes in heat? It all depends on whether you can usually handle her at those times, or whether maybe she needs some general work on respecting you. Anyway, I hope your aches and pains are starting to go away and you're feeling a little better.

 Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!  Slow down and let your body heal first.  Then,start with small steps.  If you're hurting, you're not riding at yourbest, so can't give what sounds like a pretty "energetic" ride, theride she needs.  That in turn makes you uncomfortable and lessconfident.  If you're worried about what she might do, you're going toride defensively and that doesn't mix well if you're already defensiveabout protecting your hurt body.  

If all you feel comfortabledoing right now is walking, then WALK!  It's okay, really.  A smallamount of exercise for your bruised muscles in probably a good thing,but not too much.  If your horse needs more exercise, lunge her, dosome ground work and free jump her, since she loves to jump, but Ireally don't think you should try that just yet.

I don't thinkyou need an instructor right away.  Give your self a chance to getbetter, then take it slow and see if you feel any different.  If you nolonger hurt, your confidence might be back and you'll be great!  If itisn't, go slow.  If you want to try a jump, try a set distance with asmall gymnastic - a pole to a small cross-rail.  Just trot in.  Only doa short approach, so you don't have a chance to pull out.  You'llprobably be just fine!  If that feels great, continue and go slowlywith what you attempt.  If your confidence is still a little shaky,keep the jumps in a gymnastic and work on those for a bit.  The gymnastics might also help teach her not to bolt on landing.  

Good luck!

 You are right, I should slow down but it's like I got something to prove to myself. I just don't want her to know she can do this any time she feels, ya know. I want to ride so bad. The doctor gave me the ok to ride, so I feel like I should be. I love riding and my horse with all my heart. I am able to do some troting, and it actually helps my back feel better. You know when you have that feeling like "I can do this, I've been doing for years," but once you get up there, it's like whoa, maybe I can't. I am so depressed. I just want to go back to normal, being able to go over the jumps with confidence and not like, oh I might get hurt worse this time. To tell you the truth, I was doing the gymnastics, and she just refused to go over the oxer. She never did it with a verticle at 48 ft apart. This one was at 24ft like someone on here suggested. I have to give my horse credit, she stayed by my side each time. She is a good horse, just very hyper. I was gonna try to ride today but the weather is being very inconsistent. One minute the sun is shining, 80* and the next it's pouring. I guess that's kinda a good thing. It gives me until Sat. to mentally prepare myself to try small cross-rails and ground poles. 

Thanks for you help and input. i appreciate it very much and you guys are giving me hope that I can do this again. 

Dukey:

I just don't want her to know she can do this any time she feels, ya know.

I understand that, but if you're not physically and mentally capable of giving her the best ride you can and since you've already had "issues", I would wait.  Even though the doctor gave you the okay to ride, that doesn't mean you're really ready.  YOU know your body the best and if you're still in slight pain and/or really stiff, you still have a bit of healing to do.  

It's okay to be nervous.  You've hit a rough patch.  And even though you've been "doing this for years", it's alright.  It just means that you're looking after yourself!  You know that you might get hurt riding, even before these falls.  Now, you've experienced it.  It happens.  It may happen again, but it may not.    

The gymnastic at 24' might have been a little too much for her.  The second jump (I'm assuming this was the oxer?) just came up too fast and she bailed.  If you stand at the end of the chute of a 24' gymnastic, it looks like an awful lot of poles and maybe she got a little confused.  Either make the 24' with just poles on the ground to try it again, or go back to the 48' that she can do without a problem.

Keep remembering that she's a good horse!  In the down time, watch some inspiring videos or instructional tapes.  You CAN do this! 

 Thank you remmer. You are a good friend to have. Thank you for your inspiration. I will practice at the 48', when I can get over the cross rail. Thank you so much. I feel more confident already. Now I can't wait to get back on and jump the cross rail when I'm feeling a little bit better.

 So, how's it going?  Any better?  I sure hope so.

I wish I was "a bit" closer to lend you more support.  Is there someone that could go to the barn with you, for moral support?  They don't need to know anything about horses, just be there for you when you ride. 

 Ufortunately I have not been able to ride since I last posted. It's been so wet and muddy, she slips just walking out of the barn. I will ry to do some riding tomorrow. I don't think it's suppose to rain. I will let you know how I do either way. Thanks for asking.

 Hey, you're welcome!  Maybe this is the weather-induced "rest" time you need!

 I also look at this as her healing time too. My dad has a problem of letting her bolt out into the back pasture. I had told him to leave the gate closed and use a leadline. Well he didn't completely listen to me. He shut the gate, went and grabed her by the halter and started powerwalking to the field. She decided she was going to bolt half way to the field running into the chain link fence. Her bottom feet went under it as she did a sliding stop a cut punctured her front feet. I was sooooo mad. I told him she doesn't do this with me because i do it correctly. Well "father knows best" as he would say. I don't know how to tell him without brushing me off, that he has to do it my way. He has never had horses before but he thinks he knows it all. She even chipped the top of her one hoof at the cornery (sp?) band. I washed it out and but antibiotics on it so it's starting to heal. Any ideas on how I can explain things to my dad? 

I really understand what you're going through. Three years ago I was all set to ride Sassy in  our local Parade. I was ina group with some friends  and just as we were starting to move, a bee stung Sassy. I would like to think I could have stayed on her, but unconciously I tryed to bail off. (don't ever try doing that with an aussie saddle. you'll get hung up everytime.) I hit the pavemnt hard and ended up with a bruised hip and three stiches to the head. I had to make myself get back on Sassy but even after that I was fearful for a long time.  it took me two years to have enough nerve to compete at a horse show. Last fall I showed sassy for the first time in two years and it took a lot of guts to be able to do it. It dosent make sassy a bad horse. The whole incident was nothing more than a freak accident. I guess you just never know.

 Ohhh, explaining things to Dad.  That can be hard.  I'm sure he knows what happened, so maybe you can use that accident to SHOW him that it's best to use a lead.  Not necessarily your way, but the best way to lead a horse so this doesn't happen again.  Of course, she may have also gotten away from him with a lead.....  Good luck!