So MY fear is a totally irrational fear, unlike so many of you who have posted, whose horses are so green or unpredictable, and have developed some goofy habits, or those who are brand new to riding and understandably afraid of the unknown. 

I'm a good rider with a good horse and I'm still a nervous wreck.

I have been riding for years and did lots of equitrekking before I bought my horse two years ago; he is an 11 year old Appendix gelding who started out Western before I got him but took to jumping like a duck to water.  He had a very bad attitude until I treated him for ulcers on a hunch, and since then, he has been a pretty agreeable guy.  He is an alpha in the pasture.  He'd be an alpha with me if I let him, but he is well schooled and takes discipline fine.  Under saddle he's always been good, if maybe sometimes a little lazy. 

And for absolutely no reason at all, I am terrified riding him away from home.  Terrified.  I'm a good rider and he's a great horse but not totally bombproof; I've stuck to him during some big spooks, and have gotten him back in hand.  These spooks were at totally reasonable things, like a hunter in camouflage jumping out of nearby tree without warning, or a strange dog bursting out of the bushes.  I just bought a trailer expressly so we could go do things, but I'm scared to!  Incidentally, he's a good shipper, getting on and off the trailer and riding without fuss.

I've fallen off him and off of other horses plenty of times, and luckily I haven't ever been really hurt.  He is well enough trained so that he can be ridden in a plain snaffle on the trails and controlled easily.  He prefers to lead on the trails and frets and jigs if he has to stay in back.  But really, he doesn't do anything bad ever!  But I'll be out on the trails and he'll toss his head or speed up a little, and I'll have a total panic attack.  Sometimes I've even gotten off and led him (and he follows me obediently because, of course, absolutely nothing is wrong.)  God forbid he gets a little excited about some minor thing; I just about pass out.

I dream about going to horse shows and hunter paces and cantering down the trails, jumping fallen logs, but I'm too afraid to--I'm afraid he's going to freak out and run away or something.  I know I'm skilled enough to probably ride it out without a problem if he did--does anybody have any suggestions for me? 

cfalco:

It sounds like your horses have given you no reason to fear them while riding, and its just a personal hurdle you have to get over.  Try to find a qualified instructor in your area, with a good reputation, and sign up for some lessons.  Be honest with the instructor and the should be able to work with you.  

 You live life in fear of "what might happen", you have to make the surroundings as safe as possible, so that you can attempt to have a safe a pleasurable ride.  Do you have a ring or arena to start in? 

Thanks for your relpy--yes I have access to an arena and I do use it.  Also been out trailriding again this summer and it was fun!  But I know my horse and we are basically a perfect fit so I feel good riding him.  I just don't think I can do very well starting all over again with another horse.  There is always that fear of the unknown quantity.   

I have no problems riding my horse solo in the ring.  Although I have mde many attempts, I have not been able to gain enough confidence to take him out on the trail alone.  He is a 14 year old Paint that I have owned for 10 years.  We go out on the trail with others and he is very well behaved.  I would love to be able to go out alone as many times there are not others to go out with.  However, the slightest raising of his head or too intent *** forward of his ears makes me nervous that he will spook or bolt and that I will end up on the ground.

A few years ago, a horse I was riding reared up and fell over backwards on top of me, breaking my ribs.  Ever since, as soon as I feel a horse get anxious I immediately fear that happening again and just want to get off.  I need to know what to do IF this happens again so I can feel more confident in my ability to deal with the situation instead of giving up.

 Thank you,

Kristie Mitchell

I am 62 years old.  I rode everyday as a youth and up into my 20s.  Having a family I no longer rode except on occasion until my old app became too old to ride any longer.  He died at 36 years!  I went without a horse for a couple of years and then bought a 15 year old mare.  To my surprise she was way too much horse for me - not at all like she was when I first rode her.  As a result, I came off of her twice and was hurt.  On advice from a trainer, I sold the mare and bought a quarter horse gelding of 15 years.  He was used for lessons for children and I thought he would be a good fit for me.  He was pretty run down when I bought him and as he regained weight and health he also became very peppy.  I find that I have a fear of not necessarily being thrown off but coming off when he might shy.  I do not ride very much at all because of that fear.  I would like to be able to just saddle up and ride whenever I would like to - can't ride long periods of time because of my knees but Just for my own enjoyment.

Hi - I have been riding for about 3 years and am 49 years old - my daughter (an experienced rider) has been teaching me on her pony (she rides a tb) - I have fear issues - more than should be - I walk trot and a little canter - how can I relax and not be so scared - I have fallen off numerous times but never really hurt - I want to ride to be with my daughter - I want to be more confident - to trust my pony and have her trust me, to be the leader and not feel so much fear - I actually feel stress (alot) prior to riding - whats the best way to overcome this - I want to ride!!

Hi momponyrider, I have helped a friend with similar issues and her own horse.  She had bought a Rocky Mountain Horse that had been abused and then not ridden for about 3 years.  She had issues with this mare trying to rush around the ring and just generally not wanting to relax.  This made my friend very nervous when riding her which in turn made the mare even more nervous.  Roxanne, the mare, couldn't figure out that her rushing around was what was making my friend nervous.  I just introduced myself to the mare and snapped a lead rope onto the halter under her bridle.  My friend mounted up and we stood relaxed for a bit.  It took about 2 rounds of the arena with me slowing the mare down with the lead rope and pressure on the halter.  Once she walked at my pace, I started talking to my friend.  The up side is I was relaxed so the horse was relaxed.  I was talking nomally with my friend and her horse was relaxed, because I was, so my friend relaxed.  The more my friend relaxed, the more her mare relaxed.  Within about half an hour, I could get the same result by just walking in position as if I was leading her, but with the rope not attached.  I was still talking to my friend.

We worked once a week on that together, and she worked about 3 times a week on her own after work.  She progressed to being able to ride about 5 days a week on her own.  We used the rope every time we sped up or introduced something new.  That kept the mare calm and my friend calmer, lol.  They calmed each other down, and the horse learned that no matter what happened my friend could be trusted to cope with it.  All this sounds like it took a long time, but it only took a couple of months to progress to going both ways, around cones and any speed short of a canter.  Our next project is to slow down her canter.  You can go as fast or slow as you need to and all you are basically doing is building your confidence and trust in each other.  Also, the talking relaxes the rider because they are forced to breath and generally are going to respond in a "normal" tone to the person you're talking to.  It kind of takes your mind off the fact that you're stressed because you have to think about carrying on a conversation.  I hope this might work for you.  It sounds like once you get a little confidence you should be able to ride with your daughter, and talk to her as you ride which will help to relax you as well.  Good luck!!