It sounds like you have a terrific horse, but that you need more help right now than you are getting.  I would take a formal lesson in just lunging; that's how I learned to do it and it was a big help.  It sounds your horse may not be 100% sure what you want when you lunge him, and a lesson can help make sure your signals to him are clear.

Dragging you is either a lack of understanding of what you want, or a lack of respect, and working with him on the ground will help with both.  Occasionally my horse would get it in his head that pulling away while lunging would be fun, and if your horse really wants to run away, let him go--don't get dragged by the lunge line.  Be sure not to loop it around you in any way!  Even if he is loose with 30 feet of lunge line trailing after him, he'll break it easily if (when!) it catches on something, so don't worry.  I've never had access to a round pen, and my horse and I did work out that whole lunging thing with practice!

But your horse may want to run without wanting to run away from you, and if you pass the lunge line through the bit rings and fasten it to the ring on the outside of your circle, it will exert a pretty good pull on him if he tries to pull away.  Then, what will likely happen is that he'll pivot his butt outward and still be running around you in a circle.  It isn't that comfortable or easy for him to run all out in a small circle, and if you tell him to "whoa," he should slow down somewhat.  Then tell him he is a wonderful boy.  Before you know it, he should be going around you, even if he is quite animated.  Practice speeding him up and slowing him down (clucking, saying whoa.)  It'll be cool to see him paying attention to your cues.

OK, so the bit thing was an honest mistake; I always find someone to ask if I'm not sure about how to fit a piece of tack.  Even someone in a tack store or a catalog customer service person can help you.  But was Dusty giving you any indication that he was unhappy with the bit on wrong, before bucking you off?  Head tossing, etc.?  Listen to yourself if you feel something isn't quite right.  It isn't always being oversensitive on your part!

As a person who has dealt with low confidence and feeling nervous on and off all my riding life, I sympathize with your predicament.  Go easy on yourself.  Ensure your horse has had plenty of turnout, so he's calm, then get on and walk, and walk, and walk.  Tell yourself before you ride that you aren't going to trot today.  Walk up and down hills, over poles, through puddles, do lateral work, back up, whatever.  Let a more confident friend hop on and do quiet, straightforward things with him at other gaits.  When you feel brave, after a few rides, trot a few steps.  Then stop.  Then a few steps again.  You'll get there!

Thank you for this, I really do have a wonderful little boy. He really did try to tell me his bit was wrong, and I actually had him stop so I could flip through pictures on my phone to see if I had it hooked to the bridle correctly. I couldn't find the close picture that I knew I had, so I told myself I'd figure it out as soon as we were done riding. Which was another 10 minutes. Then, we turned around and he bucked. Just once, and it freaked him out too, he ran to his stall and stood in there shaking. But yeah, he was tossing his head more than usual and pulling on the reins and I thought that something was wrong. My fault all the way around. My neighbors came over and it took them several minutes of thought and trial and error to get the bit hooked up correctly as well, which is silly. It shouldn't have been that complicated LOL

 I have an area that I want to lunge him in, it's a square, and I just need to get the fourth side blocked off so pulling away won't be an option. I'd LOVE to get fence panels in there, but he doesn't live on my land. And my neighbor doesn't want to put sand there. Anyway, I want to try and leave my emotions on the other side of the fence. I've been reading threads and articles trying to get my head right.

 He lives with a little stud, and he's been trying to teach that guy how to play. He used to live with his father, and that boy played all the time. He passed away about 2 years ago, and Dusty and the new stud are still in a little power struggle. Neither wants to give in LOL But anyway, the point of that is that they live turned out into a pasture 24/7. When they're fed, they go into stalls and Dusty can leave when he's done. The stud has to be let out. So, plenty of exercise on their own. The trainer he went to last year (oops, December before last) was surprised at how fit he was for being a pasture ornament.

Well, I need to get off my butt and go feed the neighbor's horses, there are probably a dozen over there and he's out of town this weekend. They're hungry I'm sure! Thanks for the help and I'll see if I can get this figured out :)

Ok, first: relax. Believe me, you are so not alone. I know how you feel, because I felt the same way, and am just starting to build my confidence back. It was heartbreaking to me experiencing this loss of confidence; it sneaks up on you, doesn't it? But DON'T WORRY, because of course you can do stuff about it. But you've got to want it. You've got to want it really bad, have the right incentive to push yourself over this roadblock. My advice: Start small, celebrate the little successes, and eventually build back up to your recent accomplishments. And get help! Ask your trainer if you haven't already for help, or go to someone else if you need to. But please, do not beat yourself up over it. Fear is a very rational, very real problem. Don't let people minimize your fear, because it is grounded in a reality that every horseperson experiences many times in their life: HORSES, ALL OF THEM, ARE DANGEROUS. We all know this, but sometimes it takes a particularly scary, dangerous, or painful situation to make us really understand.

But take heart-- you're not alone, and you and your horse will get through this. Baby steps. :)

 

 

It's been 1 1/2 yrs since I first posted on this thread.  I still did more hauling than riding for the last year, but my youngest started college in the fall and my oldest has opened a boarding stable (2 1/2 hrs away) and "borrowed" all 4 of our horses so prospective boarders would see happy horses at her new business.  2 of the horses will be coming home in about 6 weeks.  I tried to ride in my daughter's indoor and that brought on a new kind of fear. I was fairly ok outside, but inside, those walls come up pretty quick and I'm not confident in my balance.  I've since started a fitness program in hopes of helping with my balance issue.  Anyway, I've ridden at my daughter's place once. I had to confine myself and the horse in the round pen and just get her to stand still and let me relax in the saddle.  Then I got off.  It was a win-win for me and the horse to have us just stand still and relax. I felt it was a major accomplishment and definitely a step in the right direction.  I'm hoping to give it another try tomorrow.

I have several concerns about riding.  I'm beginning riding after a 30-year absence and I think I'm nuts.  I had both knees replaced January 2010, and I have foot drop on my left foot.  I'm seriously overweight and out of shape.  I'm afraid of falling when I'm mounting and dismounting (but I haven't yet).  I've been riding other people's horses since (OPH) I don't have one of my own--nor can I afford one with my retirement income.  The first time I cantered, the horse tripped and I ended up on the ground--separated shoulder, two cracked ribs.  That was two years ago and I haven't quit yet. 

I have a good instructor, but she doesn't yet have school horses--she's been teaching me on OPH and the horse I've ridden most is a 16.2hh TB/Percheron cross who isn't the easiest horse in the world to ride, but we get along well.  I'm not afraid of her because when she acts up, Susan just tells me to keep her going and sure enough she quits her bizarre behavior when she finds out that it hasn't done her any good.  I love riding to the extent that I can't stop smiling when I get safely on the ground.  We went on a three-hour trail ride on rented horses last week, and I've paid for that with seriously sore muscles--mostly because I rode a draft horse that was the widest horse I'd ever ridden.  My thigh muscles never get sore--but after three hours on this mare, I was sore for about ten days. 

I was heartened to find that there are so many of us out there who have fear issues, and that not all of us are old fogies.  I hope to keep riding until I can't walk--unless someone can figure out a way to get me on a horse even then.  My balance on the ground is terrible, but I'm fairly secure on a horse and can sit and post the trot without problems except exhaustion. 

This quote is attributed to Winston Churchill, but I think it's much older than that:  "The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a [wo]man."  Riding gives me such a sense of accomplishment and a joy that is indescribable.  Yes, I get afraid sometimes, but I won't let my fear keep me from doing something that I love. 

How do yo get long seeded irrational fears out of your head.  The opinions, ideas, and comments made by some non-riders and non-jumpers have taken deep hold on my psychological makeup.  Many were made decades ago.  I know in the front of my head they are truly irrational, but my sub-conscious has made them a reality deeper than my conscious mind can seem to overcome.  I have an absolutely wonderful, trustworthy young thoroughbred gelding that I would love to show. This is not going to happen until I can stop pulling on his mouth out of fear. There is absolutely NO logical reason for this fear.  We are only jumping 18"-2'. He is willing and honest.  If I can find the way to root out and deal with the other person's opinions that are embedded in my sub-conscious we will be an amazing team.  I know H&R deals mostly with western riders, but I'm sure this type of fear mindset is not limited to hunter-jumpers.  I desperately need help dealing with this issue before I give up on myself. 

 Dee McVicker your post made me smile,sure hope someday i will have no more fears

I have always been a pretty confident rider until this year when riding my sister's horse. Her horse and I don't get along too well, and she'll try a couple of tricks to get me off of her. I've come off of her six times in the last year, and these last couple of months have been the worst. At one point she jumped a wheel while trying to avoid cantering next to the fence and my saddle slipped to the left, and I fell off and hit my head and injured my shoulder. That kind of threw off my confidence with her for a week, but I got back on a week later and was able to get her to canter around in a full circle with out dashing into the center or stopping. We're doing much better now, but the thing I still feel a little nervous about (and this is with any horse) is galloping. I've galloped a couple of times on different horses, ranging from ponies to quarter horses, but I lately have gotten a little bit fearful about galloping. (It doesn't help that the last time I did it, which was last month, the horse I was riding got so excited about racing another horse that when I pulled him back a little he started doing rodeo bucks and I came off) I've always enjoyed a good run, and I'm slowly building back my confidence on that. (I'm now training the same horse that bucked me off and I got him into a slow gallop this past week without any issues) So hopefully I'll be 'back to normal' so to speak in a couple of weeks and get over these issues. :)

 Oh Dee, your story so made me laugh :) ! I too have confidance issues, I have a snorty spooky Foxtrotter that I've worked with for 3 years after getting back into horses after a long absence (I'm 51 now). We have few scenic places to ride here in farming country but there is a nice berry picking place not far from here that has lots of trees and some nice trails. The farmer allows us horseowners to ride on his property as long we're respectful of it. The first year my horse was so spooky that I could barely do anything with him but I surely tried, I would purposely laugh when he spooked to keep myself relaxed. However he spooked and acted up badly every time I rode on this Berry Farm, especially when the mosquitoes and flies were bad. I stopped riding over there and stuck to our neighbourhood instead. He is much less spooky now than he was, my riding has improved but I have an aversion to leaving our neighbourhood now. I too have riding pants, boots that are one size to big. I ride with a lunge line and a lead rope rolled up and attached to my saddle just in case I have to get off and do some groundwork. I bought a new horse trailer 2 years ago but have rarely taken it out with a horse in it because I'm afraid that my horse will behave like a dangerous idiot to far away from home. I feel queezy just thinking about what could go wrong in a unfamilier area.  I hope I can get to a point of no fear like you have. I have a confident young teen friend working with me on this and giving me some lessons.

Madeleine

Madeleine, just keep doing what's comfortable and little by little add to it. Like, walk through the Berry farm after a reallly good ride around the neighborhood.  Oh, and keep laughing. That's a great idea. ! Dee