I love horses, I am 33 and  never owned one.  I try to get around horses when I can, live next door to a field of twenty.  I have ridden a handfull of times, so not very many, I went on a trail ride at a State Park, was having a good time, my boyfriend and I were talking about how it seemed the horse he was on had A.D.D.  these people had brought a dog with them and they were riding their own horses are group had stopped to let them pass.  They passed me and I thought everything was ok.  Then my horse started bucking like crazy, I was thrown out of the saddle and was clinging to the side of it and the horse, he was bronco bucking, when I thought he was stopping I was thinking I was going to get back in the saddle but he just kept bucking, I ended up clinging on to his neck and decided it was probably time to let go, so it did I tried to fall back away from him I landed on my backside, I didn't get hurt to bad but he somehow managed to stomp on my hand, so had a fractured thumb and had to have a rock surgically removed from my palm.  

I recently tried to take lessons, but my fear and anxiety kind of got the better of me as far as riding,  I don't want to ride a horse that I don't know, can't read so I had the guy giving lessons work with me on ground work,  because I realized I am not totally comfortable on the ground either, I am most comfortable on the ground with a barrier between us.   I also noticed though that horses make me feel better, being around them makes me happy.  I want to get over this fear of an animal that I love so much.  I really don't care if I ever ride one again ok I want to a little, this story could go on and on,  but I hope to own a horse of my own in the next year, and it is something I am not taking lightly, or thinking of in a vague way,  I have wanted a horse my whole life, ( probably before I even popped out).   Any suggestions?  

 Do what you are comfortable with. Take lessons from an experienced trainer who will not push you, but let you take small steps. Working on the ground is a great way to get confident and comfortable. There are no rules that you have to ride. But hopefully, one day, you will be able to get back on because you miss that. Think about in the future, just getting on and sitting in the saddle. Then walking. And you don't have to think beyond that until you are ready.

 Been there done that, as many on this board probably have - most have experienced a scary situation, lived through it, and eventally gotten back on. I had to sell a horse I was afraid of (and for good reason now that I look back), then took lessons, walking only in a small round pen. It took years, but I can now do whatever I feel I'm up to - walk, trot, canter, trails on my own, a little jumping. That's enough for me!

Also, there are lessons that you can take later on that prepare you for anything unexpected - centered and balanced riding is the key.

Don't worry about it or compare yourself to anyone else. When you are with a horse, the horse doesn't care about anything but his/her interaction with you at that moment. There are some confident and calm school horses that seem to like nothing better than to carry around people woh are afraid and show them how wonderful a horse can be. So here's to you - you are taking a step toward your love of being around horses, and someday, riding again.

Beleive in yourself and go for your dream.

 I agree that you need lessons that go slowly, and that (once you get in the saddle) concentrate on balance and feel more than specific skills. The more lessons the better. And if you can find someone like this guy, even better. (That's Tom Chambers, I met him on a similar program. Last I heard he had moved to IL and was no longer working with the TVGR. Unfortunately his website seems to be down as well.)

One possibility is the lunge line. Again this is for when you are ready to be in the saddle. But it will take away the pressure to "control" the horse. All you have to do is breathe, and concentrate on how it feels to be on the horse. You can feel how you are more secure when you have the proper posture and position, no matter what kind of saddle you are in.

I also highly recommend reading Jane Savoie. She even has a Facebook page about overcoming riding fear! A good place to start is her book That Winning Feeling - it helped me get back on a horse I had an irrational fear of riding. (I would start to freak out at things on him that I barely even noticed on other horses like a little shake of the head.)

You haven't mentioned your height/weight, but if you are small enough (and can find one) a calm pony may be a less intimidating way to start. I hesitate to recommend tthis because some ponies are much harder to ride/get along with than full size horses, but if you know of an instructor who has a calm pony that you can be led around on (again, so you can concentrate on the feel and your position w/out worrying about telling the horse what to do), that might be an excellent way to start riding.

And about a horse purchase...I'm not so sure that's a good idea - yet. An exception might be to get a "companion" or "pasture pet" horse from a rescue. These are horses/ponies that can no longer be ridden (usually due to health and/or age, not because they are dangerous), but need someone to love them and take care of them. It will get your foot in the door (so to speak), but no one will be after you about why you haven't been riding your horse. You can practice ground work (leading, hand grazing), catching, blanketing, and grooming. Maybe even some first aid/care if they need something special.

You need to find a way to get to know a horse fairly quickly so that when you look at one for a possible purchase you can make a decision about it. If you are too afraid to even walk around on it, you shouldn't buy it. (Unless it can't be ridden anyway, as I mentioned above)

Hi,

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that has a confidence problem with her horse. I'm 33 and I was finally able to own a horse for the first time. she is a beautiful 8 year old quarter horse and I love her more then anything (exept for my 2 kids and my husband) ha! ha!. I have always loved horses but having my own made me realized that they are not the same in the magazines then in real life. I did take lessons when I was 15 but those horses were just perfect, always well behaved and everything, so I'm a little rusty. Riding her always went fine until she bucked me off for some reason or another. Ever since then I have always been afraid it would happen again. everytime I get on, I always get scared by her moving a certain way or moving her ears. this summer she bucked off my husband but he got back on to show her who the boss was but he does not really know much more about horses then me. so we asked a friend of ours to help with the problem. and he did, he is amazing with horses, he has the patience for them like i wish i would have with my kids. He did fix the problem but for some reason, with the cold weather rolling in, she started acting up again and of course I was on her. That makes me even more affraid to get on her now. I'm really thinking about getting lessons to help with my confidence. But I'm open to any suggestions!

Thanks a lot.

Hello H&R!

I have been riding now for about a year and a half and still consider myself quite green (not even cantering yet).  I do not own my own horse right now, but have been leasing an APHA filly.  I still have not mastered the correct seat and thus do not feel confident in the saddle.  It is severely affecting my ability to maintain proper posture and control the horse when I ride.  I rode several times as a kid and was thrown once and got bruised and had the wind knocked out of me but no broken bones or anything.  Fast forward to now – My lack of confidence coupled with my feelings that I’m not getting “it” when I should makes me constantly anxious.  I am also afraid that my horse is going to spook and I'm going to get thrown.  She is still learning herself at just shy of three years old, but a couple of times during a jog she’ll take off almost at a gallop and instead of sitting deep in the saddle and pulling the reins to stop her I instantly fly forward.  I haven’t fallen yet, but there have been some close calls.  I know at some point every rider is going to fall it’s just a question of when and how bad, but how can I not let the fear of it interfere with my ability to ride and consistently progress?  I would really like to be able to compete in amateur local walk/trot events this spring and I think being more confident and getting over my anxiety can help get me there.

Many thanks!

Amber

 Any chance you can take a few lessons on a BTDT, older horse?

There's a reason they say  green + green = balck + blue!

Especially if you can find someone who teaches lessons on the lunge line (or longeline, lol). This will allow you to concentrate on developing your seat a bit more. Don't give up, it takes a long time.

If she is taking off at the jog, you may be asking her to! Leaning forward (even slightly) will put her off balance, and most horses will react by speeding up. Eventers even ask for the gallop by leaning forward a bit in their 2-point. Try to react by sitting up even taller (or think about leaning back. The other possibility (and you may be doing both, many people do) is that you are gripping too tight with your legs. Again this is a cue to go for most horses, so she is just doing what you ask.It will also propel you out of the saddle if you squeeze to hard!

Try to lift your legs (yes both at the same time!) away from the saddle - more "out" than "up" but "away" is a good way to think of it. Once you can do it at the walk, try it at the jog. Again this is much easier if someone else is doing the steering (on a lungeline).

As for the fear, don't think about it. LOL The more you think about falling or your horse spooking (or any other issue) the more likely it is to happen. Instead try some visualization/imagination: see yourself riding like someone you've seen (who is good, lol), imagine yourself in a more comfortable riding situation (maybe it's windy - you can imagine/picture yourself riding w/out the wind). And don't forget to breathe - a good deep breath (from the diaphragm) will relax both you and the horse. It's actually one way to cue a horse for a downward trasition.

 First_Time_Rider: please know that I did the same thing, bought a gorgeous and talented APHA mare age 4, untrained. Turned into 4 years of paying trainers to ride her and very little enjoyment for me. I finally decided to sell her and find one I could enjoy. In between selling her, crying alot, and finding a new horse, I took lots of lessons. Started in a teeny tiny round pen! After a few lessons I ventured to a bigger round pen and eventually stepped outside the round pen. Eventually took a short trail ride...eventually 3 hours and felt absolutely wonderful. I had alot to overcome, as the mare and I never trusted each other so I had alot of fears (from her bucking, acting spooky, knocking me in the head with her leg...why did I keep her so long?).

Lease a horse you can get comfortable on and learn from. Trust me, you'll get much further much faster on a trustworthy, well-trained, well-behaved horse than on one that doesn't know much and as many young horses do, go through a time of "terrible twos" akin to a toddler throwing a tantrum but on the back of a horse, it could hurt ya. Or take lots of lessons on school horses, it will be well worth your time, money, effort and be much safer and take you where you want to go.

I have been crazy about horses for as long as I can remember. When I was little I loved riding and would get on about any horse without worrying about anything. I got away from horses for a while and when I went to ride again I was afraid. Ive never been bucked off or never just fallen off. I cant explain why I'm afraid and it's almost embarrassing. My parents ride horses, and I have a lot of friends who ride horses and compete in rodeos. My parents and my friends have been very encouraging and have talked me into riding their gentle horses, but I cant enjoy myself because of my lack of confidence. I go to watch them, but would love to be out there with them on horseback. I would love to just be able to ride around the arena or go on trail rides, and maybe some day be able to compete in local rodeos. I enjoy being around my horses on the ground, but my confidence with riding doesn't seem to be improving and I'm not sure what to do to get over my fears.

 Get Jane Savoie's book, It's Not Just About the Ribbons. She walks you through your thought process (fears, etc.) and how to change them. It works! I am living proof.I used to be afraid if my horse moved,now I can handle a spook, or him speeding up or getting excited about something. In between, I enjoy calm steady rides. We've both had lots of time with a wonderful trainer. Maybe you could find someone outside your family to take a few lessons so you build some skills. Knowing you know what you are doing, helps build confidence.

I can relate to Valerie's feelings.  I rode ponies and then horses as a child and teenager.  I was not afraid of

any horse because I knew I could ride well.  As a young married girl and Mom, I had to give up owning and

 ridig horses.  About four years ago, now a grandmother, I was able to get back to owning a horse.  My first horse

 threw me when a cow bellowing scaed him.  After such a long time without riding, the horse threw me easily and

I was in the hospital with face, ribs, and knee injuries.  I refused to give up and the horse threw me again and broke

my tail bone.  I swapped this horse for a young mare.  Misty is a great horse.  She has been mistreated.  You can see

 it in the occasional fear in her eyes.  Next came Hank.  A four wheeler scared Hank and I ended in the hospital with

a bleeding brain, broken ribs, etc. 

I haven't given up riding.  I  still ride Misty and have riden Hank but the fear is there.  What if something scares my horse....

I don't know how many times I can hit the ground and take this type injury.  I would love help regaining my confidence.

653439:

 Get Jane Savoie's book, It's Not Just About the Ribbons.

Ha! I was actually thinking about her book That Winning Feeling in the last paragraph of my previous post. And then you go and recommend the sequel!

 Also highly recommended - wear a riding helmet!

Thanks for the help.  I will get the book and check on the helment.

I have only been riding for around 7 months (once a week, if that) before this I rode when I was around 12 years old. I have now got a Fresian X on share 3 days a week, he is a rescue horse but is a real sweetheart if a little spooky.

I'm finding it really hard to get the confidence to go into canter, I am worried that I will have zero control and he will just take off with me.

I have cantered in the past but never confidently. I don't know how to gain confidence doing this if I'm too worried about it to even give it ago?

How do I get over that initial fear to start learning to sit properly etc ??

 Lessons, lessons, lessons, lol.I have been there. And still am when I'm on a strange horse (or just having a bad day on some horses).

 You need to ride a horse that doesn't need your confidence to get and keep a steady, balanced canter. I have no idea if your horse is that kind of horse, but most places that have multiple school horses have a few "confidence builder" horses, or even easy canter horses that are typically students' first canter lessons.

Ironically, the best thing for a good canter seat is to relax. Tight legs, tension in the rest of the body, and leaning forward all contribute to horses being unblanced (which makes them keep getting faster - and makes it harder for them to stop) or just going faster and faster.

And don't feel you need to canter several laps of the arena. Just part of the long side is fine to start, especially if you are uncomfortable. Work on making the transitions (trot to canter, and canter to trot) as smooth and relaxed as possible (both should have an "up" feel, don't just collapse into a trot). Knowing you can get back to the trot easily will help you relax while cantering.