Oh my goodness... Where to begin! Well, my horse is a 7  year old AQHA mare, and we have a really good relationship... on the ground. She likes spending time with me, has good ground manners, etc. But when I try and ride her, I become an annoying sack of potatoes on her back. There are some days where she will listen better and respond without throwing a fit, but most of the time, she doesn't listen, and if she does, it's very short-lived. I would love to take her out every day and be able to just go, not worry about if something might happen. How do I get her to be "dead broke" and a good trail mount?

How is she in the arena? Is she "dead broke" there? If she's fine in the arena, but a less-than-ideal trail horse, go back to her introduction to the trail. When I was starting my Lusitano filly, I took her for "trail leads": we went out on the trail with her in-hand. She had me to rely on when things got scary looking. Then she went with an experienced horse whose rider ponied her on the trail. Next, I rode her with a friend on the experienced horse. The friend--who also did most of her starting--rode her on her first solo trail ride, Finally, I took her on the trail by myself. My filly never went out on her own from the get-go, but always had support when she needed it. The trail can be pretty scary when you're a baby on your own, so she always had me or another horse at the beginning.

 Yep, sounds like a training issue. Meaning, training takes time, patience, know-how, and as much repetition as it takes. How are your riding skills - are you balanced and centered? Is the saddle comfortable to her? If something is bothering her back, then you can't blame her for not listening. After 2 years of on and offness, they found  a horse at our barn had a bone spur in his back.

Hook up with a trainer to get some feedback!

 

I used to take lots of riding lessons from a local trainer (we hardly have any trainers as it is, lol!) we started her when she was 2. Oh, the sack of potatoes thing, no I don't ride like that :) I'm balanced and center, and she isn't sore on her back either. She knows every basic cue, go, stop, turn, back up. She actually doesn't have ANY problem with backing up, I have no idea why. It's mainly going forward - in the direction I want for as long as I want it. She wants it her way a lot, but then there are the times when she's willing to respond to what I ask. I am really tired of the back and forth thing, she wants it her way, then she's fine with mine. :P I have John Lyon's Troubleshooting book, and have been reading that, and working some of the techniques with her, but she still goes back and forth.

Thank you both for your great advice! :)

 Find a good trainer and get eyes on the ground to help.  Without that or a video, we can't REALLY know what's going on.  Being a consistent rider and having a positive relationship with your horse is something that takes a lot of time and dedication, as well as an attitude of "what can I do better and how can I communicate more clearly."  I may have missed it but how old is the mare now?

She is 7 now. I know I can always improve on my skills, and I always try to be aware of if I might be giving her mixed signals. I've had her since she was 2, and my old trainer and I started her together.

Other than balking at going forward under saddle there's not a lot to go on concerning the horse's attitude toward the rider. Like the other posters I suspect there are some elements of respect on the ground that are missing. Getting a good read on the horse's reactions to in-hand work and free longeing can usually identify the differences between respect and just tolerance. This one area where having a round pen is invaluable.

Oh I love roundpens! But we don't have one. :( I was going to take her to our local rodeo arena so I could work with her in an environment with very little distractions, like her pasture buddies or anything, and it's also a big, flat surface. Thanks for the tips FH! :) I'll try and see if I can get a trailer to take her out there and then work with her even more. Thank you all for your great advice!<>