Hello all. I am in a pickel!!!! Ok, I am 17 years old and own two horses. I cannot ride either of them, due to one with a stifle injury and one due to lamintis. That's totally fine, I'm not complaining. I got my first horse when I was 10, but couldn't really ride her, because she was so green!!! And we've all heard it before, green and green do not match! We waited a few years, then I started to ride her. Well, I had a pretty nasty spill. It scared me and I didn't ride for a long time. Then I got my second horse, to try and boost my confidence. Well that was a major success. My problem is, I really haven't ridden before. Ya, I've walked and trotted, and my one mare is gaited, so I really haven't cantered, switched leads, etc. (I was fascinated by her gaits, so that's all I did on her, was gait.) My mom has her horse, and we got this Paint mare last summer, thinking, ok, this is going to be my riding horse/show horse, etc. My mom and I thought that this was the horse for me to learn so much on, better my riding abilities, etc. Well, I hate to admit this, but I know this, that this horse is too much for me. She's got so much energy and wants to GO! Yes, I can ride her, but not comfortably and confidently. I need a "plug" horse, one that has the energy, but only when I'm ready for it. We are thinking of selling this mare, to get a nice horse that anyone can ride (not just me, but my sisters, who know nothing about horses, riding). My mom wants to get a nice, safe horse. I just don't feel comfortable at all on this mare, and my confidence is way down. I keep thinking that I got my first horse when I was 10, and now am 17 and I really haven't ridden before. It just kind of gets me down, because my friend has only been riding for about 2-3 years and she was never really into horses, mostly dogs, but her uncle had a nice well-broke ranch mare and here she is, winning all these ribbons in gaming and pleasure classes. Yes, I am a bit jealous, but I just want that so bad! Are we right in selling this Paint mare (whom I really, really, really like) , and get a nice horse I can build up my confidence with and learn so many new things and expand my abilities and show with? I'm not about to get out of horses, and I wouldn't only show as a junior, but as an adult. Sorry for the long post, I'm just in a pickel!

I am so sorry you are having problems.
By all means sell her and get someone you can enjoy. Horses mean the world to most of us, they are ment to be enjoyed and loved. A more confident rider will love your mare and a safe horse will make the best family horse. You are missing out on the best part of horse ownership, riding.
Now I will make my daughter happy and we will head out to the barn for some rides!

Sorry about your pickle. Get a horse that you can be confident with riding and learning. I have owned many horses that I really liked but just were not suited for me for many different reasons from amount of energy, personality conflicts and such. You will feel much better about yourself if you have a horse that you can learn on and grow with and the horse you have now would probably benefit from an owner who is more suited for them. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Most of us have had "that horse" and I am here to tell you that when you find it you will be so thankful you looked for it, instead of just trying to work with the one you have.

You could also look for a horse to lease, that would be for sale should you like each other. That's how I found the love of my life, leased, rode with instruction, we "fell in love" lol and I bought him. He was not a plodder, but he was a kind, forgiving horse who never scared me and was still at a level where eventually I took him to shows. They can be hard to find, but the bond is the first most important thing... IMHO. Good luck with the hunt and the journey.

Another thought...
Have you looked into finding an instructor/trainer that will help you with your riding skills and the mare you like so much? Perhaps with good help you can become a team.

Edited to add: My first horse was a green-broke 3 year old. I was not much of a rider, and he threw me a few times. We sent him to a trainer, but I still didn't know how to ride, so he threw me a few more times. Finally, I found a good riding instructor that was also a trainer; she helped me with my riding and helped me train my gelding. Best money ever spent; I still have that gelding, he's 24 years old this year and semi-retire (mostly retired because I don't ride that often these days).

I agree with Chanda, you should find a coach/trainer. That way you can get some real instruction, learn to ride your mare and go to shows and get those ribbons like you want

Yes, you are definitely doing the right thing! We can't click with every horse we meet and if you are owning and riding, you should definitely find one that you DO click with and with whom you feel safe and confident so you can actually enjoy riding! That's why we have the critters anyway, right?

Everyone else has pretty much said it, and you know it in your head and heart. Find a safe mount and take lessons. Maybe don't buy a horse yet and justtake lessons and have your instructor help you find a good mount.

I had the same problem you had. My non-horsey parents bought me a right of the track 3 yr old TB for Christmas 2 years ago. He bucked me off everytime I got on him. My confidence got me down. I only lunged him for the whole summer last year. Then in the fall I got on with the lunge line and my instructor and we got it back together. When we cantered the first time I had flashing memories of me falling off. But then we gained our trust more and more, and I think just doing the groudwork and brushing really bonded us more together. But if it's not working out for you, I would really sell her and buy a nice calm horse. I hope it works out for you, I really hope the new horse works out for you. Why waste your time with a horse you can't handle when you could be enjoying a calm fun one?

Thank you all for helping me! I really think we are doing the right thing, about selling this mare. She's a wonderful horse, and I just feel absolutley horrible because she's just sitting out there and not being used for anything. I want her to go to a home where her potential can be exposed. She loves to work, and I think she would make a great cowhorse. I want her to be happy and I can just feel it when we ride, that she's not having a good time, because I'm tensed up and worried and she feels it in my body language, etc. Yes, we could keep her and I could continue to ride her, but like I said, I want to feel confident on a horse, and have fun in my teenage years. I have my whole life to get another horse like this mare and by then, I know that I'll have more confidence in my riding.
My mom was born and raised around horses. In fact, when my grandmother and my mom came home from the hospital, after my mom was born, they didn't go straight to the house, they went to the barn first so my mom could meet my grandmother's horse! I love that story! Anyways, my mom has taught me so much! Even before she bought me my first horse, I was constantly reading up on horses and breeds, and tack and riding, etc and I was ALWAYS asking her questions................I'm sure she got tired of that, tee hee, every 5 minutes asking a question about this breed or that show. I know that I've got common "horse" sense, and that's why I really think this is the best thing, for me and the horse. Yes, I would love to show, but if I don't anytime soon, that's no big deal. I just want to get my confidence back. When we get another horse, my mom will be my trainer/instructor, again, and will ultimaley teach me how to ride again, this time, with more confidence. Thank you all for your posts! I will keep you guys updated! Thank you so much!

First off, welcome to our addiction, er, forum I think you'll like it here

Now, the way I see it... you can either find a trainer to work with you and the mare, or, what I think would be better, is to sell her and find a more suitable horse. Certainly nothing wrong with that choice! Riding should be FUN

I've been riding for... 15 years now, most of that time in lessons. I'm still taking lessons, in fact. Anyhow, I've worked with many green horses, broke some with a trainer, broke one on my own... yet I want an EASY horse to have fun on, one that I don't need to worry about. One I can show and just enjoy. So, even though I have a bunch of horses (most are minis), I'm currently on the market for just that. So, even those of us who are fine with the greener horses, still enjoy the easy rides!

Just take your time finding the right horse. Don't buy on impulse. I've used the wonderful people on this forum to help me out... I almost bought a nice, but green, horse. But thankfully I came here for opinions first, and now I have my search narrowed down to two ponies (I'm only 5' so I like tall ponies) that seem perfect for me, MUCH more suitable that the pony I was going to get! So you can always come here for opinions (that's what the critique folder is good for!)

Jessi

Since you are young, I would see if I could get connected with the horse 4-H program in your area. Not only would that help you with your skills, most likely at a reasonable cost but you may become acquainted with a rider that is ready to move up to a horse of your mare's energy and skills, and have the horse you are needing.

In any case, sell the paint and try to find a horse you can have fun with.

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First off, welcome to our addiction, er, forum I think you'll like it here

Now, the way I see it... you can either find a trainer to work with you and the mare, or, what I think would be better, is to sell her and find a more suitable horse. Certainly nothing wrong with that choice! Riding should be FUN

I've been riding for... 15 years now, most of that time in lessons. I'm still taking lessons, in fact. Anyhow, I've worked with many green horses, broke some with a trainer, broke one on my own... yet I want an EASY horse to have fun on, one that I don't need to worry about. One I can show and just enjoy. So, even though I have a bunch of horses (most are minis), I'm currently on the market for just that. So, even those of us who are fine with the greener horses, still enjoy the easy rides!

Just take your time finding the right horse. Don't buy on impulse. I've used the wonderful people on this forum to help me out... I almost bought a nice, but green, horse. But thankfully I came here for opinions first, and now I have my search narrowed down to two ponies (I'm only 5' so I like tall ponies) that seem perfect for me, MUCH more suitable that the pony I was going to get! So you can always come here for opinions (that's what the critique folder is good for!)

Jessi

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Thank you! You know, a taller pony might not be such a bad idea, since I am only 5' as well. My one mare is 15.1 and when I first saw her, I about had a heart attack, because I thought she was the tallest horse ever! (Now mind you, this was 3 years back, so I was a bit shorter than I am now.)
I read an article, not sure what magazine, but this young girl, like me, had this tall TB gelding, whom she loved, but the horse was a bit too much for her, just like "my" mare is and she just didn't feel comfortable on him. So, she sold the TB and got a good sized pony, but still way shorter than her TB. In the article, she said something on the lines of "My mom liked the way I looked on a TB, but I liked the way I FELT on a pony." That line really jumped out at me. To me, the article was about how you can be an excellent rider and very knowledgable, but still have "your comfort" limits, even if that means getting a nice, older, horse whose "been there done that."

Thank you so much!

Another short person! hehe

I do have a 16 hand TB, and I can ride him just fine, but... well, tall ponies are much better to me haha! Or even a short horse works. I like 13.2-14.2 best, but am ok with 13 and up. I recently sold one of my horses who was 15.1 or 15.2, and even that was hard to get up on! lol

Anyhow, have fun on your horse search! Will you have to sell your mare first, or can you get one before selling her?

Jessi

I'm all for lessons! They are a blast! I’m 22 and I just recently fulfilled my dream of having a horse, I bought a great quarter horse mare about 7 months ago. Even though I was lucky to get a bomb proof horse, she still has a bit of an attitude sometimes, I don't mind. I just started taking lessons a month a go and Friday was my 5th lesson and I cantered for the first time!! It wasn’t real pretty of course, I probably looked like one of the three stooges, but I was and still am on cloud nine! So I think lessons are the way to go to build confidence. My mare likes to test and see just how far she can get by with and lately I've really had the confidence to step up to the plate to correct her bad behavior and build on our relationship which I'm happy about too. Enough rambling, get a good horse (I looked for months), get good lessons (looked even longer), and have some fun!