Great responses and thank you everyone. Sometimes I get confused about life and what helps me find clarity is writing down my questions and then fleshing out some thoughts as I write. It's true, at my age (55) I don't need goals like I used to. I need to enjoy each day as it comes, and be gratefulf for each ride I have. What do I really want? To have no regrets once I get to the age or place in life that I cannot ride. I've had the experience in life (breast cancer) that was a reminder to do what you can now, while you can. I've had friends and family pass away, or age and not able to do much. So the answer to my question in regards to my horse is do all I can. I just cantered my first crossrail not too long ago. I also found an inexpensive dressage saddle. Because I would like to jump a 2'3" fence (or 2 or 3), do a baby beginner cross country course, learn dressage through second level, show dressage to some level at least at schooling shows. I've already met some goals with showing (local shows and hunter schooling shows). I've done lots of trail riding, and still love that. Went on a 2 hour ride from the farm, with friends last night. So I am getting to do what I enjoy and I am thankful.

 Maybe the dilemma is I don't think I'll live long enough to everythiing I want to do on a horse! 

Just enjoy one day at a time, please.  My husband just turned 83. He said, "I'm so old!"  I said, you are just one day older than you were yesterday.  Enjoy each minute, each hour. Do what you enjoy doing and keep trying to help people along the way.  Thank God for each second you can breathe, move and enjoy life.

Thanks.  At this point in my life, my relationship with my horse is the most meaningful thing to me.  Six years ago I sold my home and now live in a wonderful Condo.  I now do little house work, no yard work, etc.  More time to play with my horse and have fun. No pets allowed in condo, so my horse has become my pet, companion, and one of my best friends.  We just enjoy hanging out. 

Just last week, I gave a simulation and talk about "centered riding" to my little riding group.  The riding group is great fun. We meet for a "coffee" once a month, discuss our "horse" problems and successes and sometimes do an obstacle course or trail ride together.  We also have guest speakers who educate us from time to time and we band together to get good prices on supplements, etc.  Most of us are "cowgirls," be some of us also "show."  Most of the group are young enough to be my daughters or grand-daughters but they don't seem to mind "grandma" riding with them.

I don't know if I should even answer as I am only 45 but I think I have something of use to say.

My experiences in short form : D

I began riding at 6. I have ridden up to preliminary eventers and have ridden open jumpers. I have had many injuries. I had a severe injury at age 12. I was in another country and received marginal care. I think I had a concussion and perhaps broke my collar bone. I have permenent damage to my shoulder. I hurt my back doing something unrelated at age 28 and was told I would never hike, ski, job, ride or work again. I do all except for the jogging. This year my mare went suddenly blind in one eye and ran over my hand which was on cement causing a lot of damage but I must be happy to at least be able to still have most of the use of is and still have fingers. I have suffered many riding set backs financially. Right now I can't afford to compete or ride with a stable and it isn't the first time.

My point is that you don't have to consider it an all out defeat. It is just one of those bumps in the road. Perhaps you don't want to do it anymore. Perhaps you just haven't found your niche. Horses can be a part of your life where you don't need to set goals just as much as they can be goals.

I would like to trail ride too but I find that that most people haven't  clue about safety.

It is okay to quit. I consider quitting occasionally too.

When I was 10 I wanted to ride in the Olympics. At 45 I just hope I can just keep earning enough money to keep the 3 horses I have.

Remember this is supposed to be fun. If it isn't fun anymore there isn't too much point in continuing on this course because it is expensive.

Or maybe you are meant to start a safety oriented trail association?

Be good to your self

 

I think changing goals as you get past 45 or so is very appropriate, especially when it comes to jumping. Safety must always be our first consideration.  Dressage or trail competitions can be a lot of fun and a lot safer.  I think you are being very wise to continue riding, but in a way that will always be safe for you and for your horse.

Yes.  I bought a gaited KY mountain mare and love her and the riding is easy and so much fun. Since I board at a big farm in KY, I have miles of pasture and woods to ride.  I have also very much enjoyed training my horse.  Have taken Parelli courses and attended many "natural horsemanship" clinics here and in surrounding states.  My mare just keeps getting better.  She now follows me around like a dog ("heels" when I walk her without a lead). I can also walk over a self-created obstacle course with her.  Point her to or around or over any obstacle and she will go and then come right back to my side.  And of course, riding her is a dream.  I highly suggest lots of "ground training" and natural horsemanship training for lots of fun with your horse.  We are real buddies and partners and I didn't begin to learn to ride and train until after I retired.  I am also taking a monthly riding lesson at a "gaited horse" stable where they train championship gaited horses.  Am seriously thinking about entering "trail" contests, as we have many gaited-horse competitions here in KY because of our Rocky Mountain and KY mountain horses.  I have only the one mare, but love being with her as much as possible.  If you buy a gaited horse, get one that has a good natural gait and that has been well-trained for trail, etc.  I love not having to trot and not having to jump at my age and still have lots of fun with my horse. 

 That's the conclusion I've come to. There are lots of young girls/teens at the so of course their view of life and safety is very different from my own. I don't need so much to get an adrenaline rush! I still will take jumping lessons. My horse loves it and is easily capable of 2'6"but I am taking this one inch at a time. Our trainer is very safety conscious for everyone and a wonderful teacher. She is fine with me taking baby steps. I also have had to choose not to compare myself to other adult riders, some much younger than myself. One in the same age range. We all need to feel free to ride at our own level. Enjoyment is the key.

Well it isn't just the young riders who disregard safety. My former next door neighbor was 50 and always wanted to go on a trail ride with me. One I am not much into trail rides but the biggest reason is that she just didn't 'get it'. She was wealthy and her horses were really just accessories. She like many other people expected them to act like well behaved big dogs. They aren't big dogs. They are horses and for lack of a better word they have their own horse culture. What I mean here is that if you are a horse you have different rules to live by than if you are a dog or a cat or any other animal. Her mare would go into heat and kick other horses on the trail. When I suggested that maybe the horse was in heat when she did this she had never considered the idea. If I was riding that mare I would have ridden at the back of the line and if we stopped to talk I would put my mare and myself a bigger distance away. Anyway the whole horse thing for her pretty much ended in tears because she could not relate to her animals as horses.

I also always ride with a helmet. I watched my father die a slow death from a head injury and it really makes sense. Accidents happen in seconds and even the smartest most experienced rider can be injured.

As for jumping and riding in general it isn't just age that makes a difference. If you ride a lot on a lot of different horses you gain things that you cannot if you don't ride as much. I would like to ask if you have ever taken any lessons on a lunge line. It really develops your balance in a way you can never achieve otherwise. Some time spent with no reins is very valuable and some time without stirrups (less for an older rider) without having to worry about control changes your security in the saddle strongly for the better.

Once you really start jumping almost any horse more than about 14hands should be able to jump 3'. Once you get your confidence up a 2' jump is the same as a 3' jump. If you consider the jump just another canter stride just a slightly larger stride it changes things quite a bit.

I somehow ended up with the right crowd  with horses at a young age and was in a position to take advantage of some wonderful opportunities that came my way.

If you do throw in the towel on the horse ownership and jumping part remember that there are many ways to experience horses. There are plenty of places who could really do with a safety concious mature woman to lend a hand here and there. You are an asset. I have found myself at times drifting into different roles, caring for rescued horses at the humane society, rescueing horses myself, volunteering as a ring steward at horse shows and jump judging at hunter trials. I have held volunteer positions in horse societies and tacked up horses at riding establishments in exchange for riding privledges. I have sat and comforted little girls in ridng boots who felt they were not going to do well enough at horse shows and lent a hand as a groom for people who needed a hand.

Somehow though I know that you are going to be okay. You will always be a horsewoman and no one can take that away from you. Have fun and accept yourself and your horse for what you are and tell anyone who thinks you should do otherwise to stuff it!

 I can't imagine giving up my horse if I decided I didn't want to jump. There are lots of other things he's capable of. And we have a bond. He gets upset if I go away for a week of vacation. And I always ride with a helmet, I've ridden on a lung line, without stirrups, yadayadayada.

I'm  glad you aren't going to get rid of your horse. They do think of us as belonging to them and seem to be very hurt when they change homes. I just wasn't sure from your post and title exactly how much you were going to throw in the towel on. I was sure you always rode with a helment from your original text. I was just not sure what caliber of riding training you were getting and was thinking that perhaps you had some other options. Sometimes just someone saying the right things in the right words helps in some way and I also see people change instructor (even for one lesson) and find that that instructor has one of the 'keys' that help them move forward even if they continue on with the original instructor. I expect you know all of this already. I hope I did not offend. I also did not mean to imply in any way that you were doing anything incorrectly or wrong in some way. It was not my intention. As a former riding and flying instuctor I have seen people of all ages and all physical abilities achieve all sorts of things. I notice if they are under stress or worry too much it holds them back more than anythings else. I must admit that althought I have achieved much with horses and other things I am a dance failure. I have a slight spinal deformity. Although I look normal I am stiffer through the back. I keep trying because I think it is good for me but perhaps some day some instructor will have some sort of key that will help me work around my slight physical problem and I might be a little more graceful.

 

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I should be honest from the start here and say that I am only 47 and not 50 so it may be you don't want to hear from a young pup. (Ouch and ha ha) There are days in the barn when I am 27 and other days when I'm sure I'm 97. I think about quitting riding almost everyday. I suffered a stress fracture in my hip last fall and my horse stepped on my foot and broke 4 of my toes this summer. He is a young draft and it was a total accident. I have bifocals that make sitting on a tall horse seem extra tall and I suffer from PKD so to keep my doctors from freaking out I wear a protective vest. Yup I think about giving up riding every day. Then I get to the barn. I see my Scout, I groom him, talk to him, spend tons of time training him, and it begins to dawn on me that when I am with him, or in the stables in general I NEVER feel old. Before and after, yes, but during my time in the stables I am 20 again and the world belongs to Scout and I. We are eternally young, eternally happy and eternally a team. There will come a day when, due to my PKD, I may not be physically able to ride, then I will be a hot walker. When I cannot be a hot walker, I will be a groom, when I cannot groom I will be the nice carrott lady in the barn, but I will never EVER give up my time with horses. That is when I truly will become old.

 Amen to that! My horse keeps me happy and sane, whether I feel 30 (can't go as far down as 20) and want to jump a small fence or when I'd just rather walk around a trailor watch my horse eat grass.